It's 4:40am already, 25th of October, sitting here inside the jeepney at the terminal.. all beaten up and still have this freaking migraine. It was one hella working week. Seems like so much happened since Monday and i still can't absorb everything!

Yesterday, i received a text message from my big guy saying that he would be confined in the hospital. Honestly, i didn't know how i should react, but one thing's for sure.. i wasn't worried that time.. and i started pondering why.. I don't want him in there. Why? I don't know. Then i thought maybe i was trying to be defensive on the thought that i had to go there to see him with his parents. I told myself "nightmare!". I ended up sending him messages that i know were too harsh, discouraging him about the confinement, even attacking the quality of the hospital he's in.

"I will never go there", that was my decision. That was so mean of me, but i never doubted if that was wrong. I went back to pondering why i wasn't worried at all. Answer? I still don't know..

I started to doubt again how i felt for him.. who is he in my life.. he's my big guy and i cherish him every single second of my life. So i decided to call him. My right ear started hurting because of the endless ringing sound. I was already pissed off. He texted, he just woke up. I called again.

I heard him talking. He's voice was too soft that i couldn't even hear him (or was it due to my hurting ear). Suddenly, i felt pain radiating through my soul and i was indeed surprised with what i had just felt. I thought, "what if i won't hear his voice again?". I realized at that point that if i hadn't decided to reach him, i would have let another chance (to show him how i feel) fade away.

Ok i called.. now i wanna be with him..

Oh well.. so i am using an old PDA (Palm Pilot) now to do some blog entries that later on i'm gonna transfer to the PC by.. tan-ta-na-nan.. TYPING! LOL! A more amped way of using scratch paper for drafting haha! Basically i'm just keying in any random thoughts that pops in my mind. I'm so worked up into blogging these days maybe because i haven't really blogged for a long time. So that's why i'm trying to make use of this black and white palm that i found just yesterday inside my desk's drawer.

Now what! I want a new PDA just for my blogging addiction. Well any PDA would do just fine.. as long as its in FULL COLOR already.. hahaha! So i texted my big bro in Singapore to go find and get me one! With WI-FI??? uh.. MUCH BETTER!!!

So let's see if i'll get a new PDA or i'll just grow out of this oh-ma-gah-another-earthly-desire.. LOL!!!

How about i just get a PDA phone?? Well, i'm not a fan of all-in-one gadgets. I still believe in one-specialty-is-still-damn-better.. hahaha!!

(NOTE: this was written last October 24, 2008)

It's already 2:48am, i just finished editing Levinia's pic using Photoshop CS. Doing that wasn't my original plan to relieve my-so-called-stress because of ever slow temporary pc run by Windows Vista. I had a pending video-editing job to do but i hadn't foreseen the upcoming obstacle.. 3gp isn't recognized by Windows Movie Maker!!! Sounds too technical? Well, 3gp is the common format used in videos recorded using a mobiile phone.

Anyway, i wanna show you guys my stress-buster-masterpiece.. hahaha!!!

My calvary is halfway over.. my office pc finally gave up on me. after several weeks of suffering from suddenly-my-pc-turns-off and being outdated in my cyber life, i now can go back to checking my email, FS, MS, FB, TKA Villa mingling, and blogging.

On the other hand , i got more time to gossip with my co-teachers and have some time to relax on my office chair. I even had more time at home coz i was able to go home early unlike before.

Myabe now i've already learned how to balance both words.. thanks to my online-sisters-turned-real-friends, my big and little men, and office b!@tches.

I welcome myself back to PINK BLOOD..